Luna does not have Leukemia. Her heart isn’t irreparably damaged. We have FINALLY been assured that our wildest child is “normal” by the best of doctors. Yes, we are on the victory side of a mountain that most people were not aware we were climbing.
On April 11, my stalwart child who seldom cries, woke up in pain. I thought it might be lingering problems from a cold. Dr. Hanks happened to have an appointment that day, so I took Luna into her office for precautionary measures.
When we arrived, Luna’s blood pressure and heart rate were scary-high and could not be brought down without medicine. Within hours, we were in Tyler having an EKG, its results adding to our fears. She had blood work done, and many of the markers pointed to the worst of childhood diseases. Luna’s doctor even gave me her personal cell phone number “just in case” we needed it, which only fueled my fear.
I felt alone and scared. I prayed lots. I cried lots. Those closest to us knew what was going on, but as the mom, I still felt the sole burden of the possibilities tightening my chest and stealing my sleep. Even in the worst moments, though, I knew God held us, that His plan is best, that He is the painter of the bigger masterpiece, and He faithfully comforted this worried momma.
The first Hallelujah came when her pediatrician called to tell me that Luna definitely did NOT have Leukemia. The final Hallelujah came on Wednesday when a pediatric cardiologist ran tests on my girl’s wild lil heart and deemed it “normal”. Normal is good. SOOO good.
Other than Luna wearing an ambulatory blood pressure monitor for a day to record her stats, she was released to play sports and be the wild child that she is.
And then it was over. The “well-that-was-a-lot-for-nothing” attitude took over… and I forgot.
I forgot the prayers and the peace in the hardest moments. I forgot the fear and the weight of it all. I forgot to truly praise God for the victory. Moreover, I’m not sure I even really thanked God because my mind fooled me into thinking it was all much ado about nothing.
But it WASN’T nothing. It was terrifying. It was heartbreaking. It was devastating.
I don’t know the bigger picture. I don’t know why her EKG revealed “probable hypertrophic cardiomyopathy”. I don’t know how God worked in her little body during our unbearable wait for her appointment with a specialist. I DO know that He was faithful, even though the extent of His faithfulness won’t be comprehensible on this side of Glory.
So… THIS is my praise and thanks to my loving, faithful Abba Father, shouted from the rooftops of social media. That particular mountain is behind us. It won’t be the last one by a long shot. But we climbed that mountain WITH Him, and it made all the difference. The next mountain might make this one look like a mole hill, but He will carry us up that mountain too, and I pray that I will never fail to give Him the glory He always deserves.
Flying Pigs 